Women: Finally Learn to Orgasm
Times are a changin’ for women’s sexuality. There is much more openness about sex, with increasing permission for women to seek their own pleasure. Yet I frequently have women patients who come to me because they cannot have an orgasm, alone or with a partner. They are relieved to find that their problem can be solved. But I want you to know, as a sex therapist, that there is no pill I can give you to teach you to orgasm. Often it takes concentration, practice, reading, experimentation, getting over past attitudes, and learning to ask for what you want. So to get over anorgasmia, (which we now call “pre-orgasmia”), you have to explicitly give yourself permission to become a more sexual person. For a lot of women, that’s a tall order in and of itself.
From the Bedroom into the Medition Room: What Sex Therapists Want Mediators to Know. Dr. Aline Zoldbrod to keynote the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation’s 16th Annual Family Mediation Institute.
For some couples who plan to divorce, the genesis of much of the fighting, hurt, and alienation that threatens the dissolution of their marriage is sexual.
“Sex is not on her radar at all.”
“He just never wanted to have sex, and it has destroyed my self esteem.”
“She just could not respond to affectionate touch, and after a while, I just could not stand it.”
“He just got more and more into porn. He lied about it. He was never interested in me sexually any more.”
On December 8, 2017, I’ll be talking to mediators about which of these couples might be helped by a referral for sex therapy, before they consider divorce.
A Sexpert's Advice - Four Tips (as featured in the 2007 parenting issue of The Boston Globe Magazine)
Originally published by The Boston Globe Magazine in 2007, Text by Carey Goldberg - Click here for original article
"Look," Lexington sex therapist Aline Zoldbrod will tell a couple. "Angry women aren't horny." Or: "No tired woman in an established relationship with kids is going to pick sex over sleep." Blunt, she is. She is also concerned – about the rise of "sexless marriages" and the many mothers who confess to her that since having a baby they have felt dead below the waist.
Sex Night for Parents with Small Kids it Can Be Done
OK, folks; it's winter, cold and dark. No one has any money, and none of us knows for sure when things will get better. We need a picker-upper that will raise spirits without depleting our dwindling bank accounts. For a lucky group of people who are parents, that might be sex together, IF ONLY there were some way to get away from the kids.
Here is a solution to this problem. It's an exercise taken from my book SexTalk (p.96, Zoldbrod and Dockett, 2002). Trust me, if you previously liked sex, this strategy works.
Women: Too Much "Mercy Sex" Will Ruin Your Sexual Relationship
I notice over and over again how other experts and researchers are encouraging women to "just do it" when it comes to sex and addressing desire discrepancies between partners. Now, I believe some mercy sex, and some quickies, are just fine. But I have to warn you not to go with their simplistic advice.
You might need to learn or to relearn how to like sex, because you have to know what your recipe is -- and you have to insist on getting good parts of it met, to have good sex. (You can use my Body Map exercise to figure out what you like.)