WORRIED ABOUT SEXUAL ADDICTION OR COMPULSION?
DR. ZOLDBROD IS A RECOGNIZED EXPERT IN THE FIELD
An estimated 14 million Americans-- 1 in 17 people, have a form
of sexual addiction or compulsion. If you live in Boston and you're
concerned about--or finally recognizing -your sexual addiction or
compulsions, you want expert
help. You'd like to see a top professional in Boston.
Aline Zoldbrod's work in the field of sexual addiction has been
nationally recognized for years. In
1998, she published her award-winning book
Sex Smart, which described in
detail one of the most common developmental pathways to sexual addiction.
SexSmart is used in the understanding
and treatment of sexual addiction in academia, community
centers, private and group practices, and in self-help groups for
sexual addiction in the United States and abroad.
Are you a sex addict? Take this
Cited on Sexual Addiction in the Media
Dr. Zoldbrod has been cited on sexual addiction
by major national newspapers, in magazines, on radio stations, on
TV, and in professional and popular books since
1998. Her comments on the increase in pornography addiction
are even entered into the Federal Record (U.S. Senate , November
Recognized for Her Contribution to the
Understanding and Treatment of Sexual Addiction
Dr. Zoldbrod's contribution to the understanding and treatment
of sexual addiction is recognized by men and women trying to heal
from sexually compulsive behavior. She is cited on many, many sites
and blogs, including:
SLAAonline.org (Sex and
Speaker on Sexual Addiction at Professional
Dr. Aline Zoldbrod has been lecturing to professional groups such
as AASECT (The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors
and Therapists) and SASH (Society for the Advancement of Sexual
Health) on the developmental factors which often lead to sexual
addiction since the late 1990's. You can order a CD of her presentation
at the 2008 SASH National Conference on Sexual
Addiction entitled "Sexual Development 101: Using the Milestones
of Sexual Development Model to Understand and Treat the Underlying
Issues of Sexual Addiction" from Lawrence Media Group
(www.lawrencemedia group.com, 800-466-1962, SASH 2008, September
20, session 7-3)
Dr. Zoldbrod's Contribution to the Field
of Sexual Addiction Has Been Recognized by Fellow Professionals:
"A valuable resource for anyone who wants to understand and explore
the root cause of adult sexual intimacy concerns."
--Wendy Maltz M.S.W. Author, The Porn Trap:
The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography
is the book that I hand to my patients who tell me that they do
not recall being sexually abused but who nevertheless feel that
"something is wrong with me." The Milestones in Sexual Development
model is particularly helpful for patients dealing with sex addiction
and co-addiction, because the sexual behaviors that get acted out
almost always can be correlated with a failure to successfully negotiate
specific milestones. It is an empowering book that encourages people
to be in the solution, not in the problem. This is one of the books
that I wish that I had written."
--Ginger Manley APRN BC, AASECT Certified
Sex Therapist and Diplomate, and Certified Supervisor; Certified
Sex Addiction Therapist
ANYONE CAN BECOME "ADDICTED" TO SEX
Dr. Zoldbrod's patients come from all walks of life. They are physicians,
lawyers, plumbers, business owners, executives, computer programmers,
engineers, teachers, psychotherapists, nurses, police, entrepreneurs,
salesmen, military, and more-- men and women, gay, bi and straight,
single or coupled.
DIFFERENT PATHWAYS TO SEXUAL ADDICTION
There are many different pathways to becoming addicted to sex.
In every case, it was an accident. Sexual addiction is not something
you choose. That's interesting, too, since it begins as something
you did choose, does provide pleasure, but becomes impossible to
And sexual addiction can take many, many forms, including but not
limited to obsession with internet porn, pursuing high priced call
girls, constant masturbation, prostitutes, cruising Craig's list
for anonymous sex, or constant frequenting of strip clubs and massage
You probably began to use sex to deal with some feelings you didn't
like. Whether the feelings are frustration, boredom, feeling out
of control, anger or disappointment or frustration with your partner,
anxiety, sadness, loneliness or something else, sexual addiction
is a "solution" that turns into a problem, and your life spins out
Are you a sex addict? Take this
Powerful and/or Type A Personalities
One group of people having trouble with sexual additions are men
and women who have a huge amount of control over their life in other
spheres. They pride themselves on their success and their sense
of control. If you're in this group, maybe you first began masturbating
to porn as a teenager, which is completely normal, but later you
probably began to use sex compulsively to get what you wanted somewhere
when you were becoming frustrated with feeling
not-so-in-control in your job or your relationship. You've
been so successful and powerful in every other realm, but this is
a behavior you can't stop, and you're concerned.
If this describes your pathway to sexual addiction and compulsion,
you need a very smart, seasoned and accomplished
sexual addiction therapist, because you need to talk to someone
who is intelligent enough to figure out your particular puzzle and
your specific treatment plan, someone who you can respect and who
you can't push around!
People with Social Anxiety and Lack of Sexual Confidence or
Another common pattern occurs most often among men who as teenagers
did not feel successful with girls. Trying to get dates, or experiencing
fear and anxiety on dates is such a difficult experience that you
retreated into the impersonal world of sexual addiction--often computer
porn or anonymous or paid sex.
People With a Recognized or Unrecognized History of Familial
Neglect, Violence, or Abuse
Though the cause of sexual addiction can differ from person to
person, many sexual addicts come from families where their emotional
needs were not met. There may have been emotional and physical neglect,
violence, sexual abuse, or alcohol or drug addiction. Statistics
have shown that this is the case for more than 80% of the people
who get caught up in sexual addiction.
For whatever reason, your parents may have failed to provide you
with good experiences in the Milestones
of Sexual Development.
You didn't have kind and consistent touch or emotional support
when you were young. You learned not to trust and not to become
vulnerable and attached to other people.
Now, as an adult, deep down you don't feel loved. You don't trust
is an excellent companion to the leading
books on understanding sexual addiction.
will help you map your past so that you understand what happened
to you in detail:
Why did you begin to use sex to calm and soothe yourself?
Why did it happen so early in life?
Why is emotional intimacy so scary?
Dealing with your addiction is like going on a journey. An important
part of healing is going back into the past and looking--frame-by-frame,
as if you are watching a movie--at what happened to you when you
You need to look with new eyes, eyes that understand the concept
of sexual addiction. Using the exercises at the end of each chapter,
you will be able to allow yourself to feel the feelings that were
too dangerous to feel before.
will give you a detailed roadmap of how your unexplored feelings
about your past created your pattern of sexual addiction, and SexSmart's
exercises and journaling will give you a recipe for how to overcome
You will read the stories of other sex addicts, men and women like
you who have already taken the journey to sexual recovery using
the wisdom contained in SexSmart.
TREATMENT FOR SEXUAL ADDICTION WITH DR. ZOLDBROD
Whatever your sexual compulsion, your treatment
with Dr. Zoldbrod will be tailored to your individual pathway to
sexual addiction, your individual needs, and your specific situation.
Getting over compulsive sexual behavior is an intensive process,
and an approach that blends heart and mind. The goal of treatment
is to stop compulsive sexual behavior but to discover, define,
learn (or re-learn) how to enjoy sexuality which feels healthy.
For each of you, your journey will be different.
Individual therapy for sexual addiction
with Dr. Zoldbrod involves:
Specialized techniques for assessing resources
--An individualized assessment and ongoing support.
Depending on the results of the individual needs assessment, treatment
usually will include:
- Identification of specific developmental and current vulnerabilities
- Assessment of any co-occurring problems and addictions
- An evaluation of where you are in the "stages of change"
- Assessment of sexual development and pre-addictive sexual functioning
(Using Dr. Zoldbrod's Milestones
- A powerful imagistic technique to assess deficits in self esteem
- Learn how to identify, tolerate, and healthfully process difficult
- A specific technique to identify and strengthen the healthy
internal resources you need to cope with your cravings
- Being taught how to identify internal triggers such as boredom
or depression which trigger compulsive behavior
- Identifying lifestyle changes needed in order to cut down on
unnecessary exposure to problematic sexual temptations and individual
- A sophisticated model which explains the way you brain needs
to change in order to overcome your sexual addiction
- Encouragement to join a support group
- A process to create accountability for your actions
- Suggested readings
Couple therapy is available as well
Contact Dr. Zoldbrod to Make An Appointment
Click here to read
Dr. Zoldbrod's hisandherhealth.com article about sexual addiction.
Copyright © Aline Zoldbrod 2010
12 Step Groups:
Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA)
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)
Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA)
Members of SCA are primarily, although not wholly, gay and bi-sexual
Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA)
A 12-step group for relatives and friends of sexually addicted people.
Codependents of Sex Addicts (COSA)
Non Twelve Step
Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH)
Books: Sex and Relationship
Augustine Fellowship, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Fellowship-Wide
Service, Inc. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. Boston, 1986.
Canning, Maureen. Lust Anger Love: Understanding Sexual Addiction
and the Road to Healthy Intimacy. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks,
Carnes, Patrick. Dont Call It Love: Recovery from Sexual
Addiction. New York: Bantam, 1991.
Carnes, Patrick J. Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual
Addiction. Center City, MN: Hazelden, 1983, 1992, 2001.
Carnes, Patrick and David L. Delmonico, Elizabeth Griffin, and
Joseph Moriarty. In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of
Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior. Center City, MN: Hazelden,
Carnes, Patrick and Joseph Moriarty. Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming
Sexual Self-Hatred. Center City, MN: Hazelden, 1997.
Golden, Gale. In the Grip of Desire: A Therapist Works with Sexual
Secrets. New York: Routledge, 2009
Kasl, Charlotte Davis. Women, Sex, and Addiction: A Search for
Love and Power. New York: Harper and Row, 1989.
Maltz, Wendy and Larry. The Porn Trap. New York: Harper-Collins,
Mellody, Pia. Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to
Change the Way You Love. San Francisco: Harper San Francisco,
P.D.N.E.C. Hope and Recovery: A Twelve-Step Guide for Healing
from Sexually Compulsive Behavior. Center City, MN: Hazelden,
Schaef, Anne Wilson. Escape from Intimacy: Untangling the Love
Addictions: Sex, Romance, Relationships. New York: Harper Collins,
Weiss, Robert. Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in
Gay Men. Los Angeles: Alyson Books, 2005.
Williamson, P., and S. Kiser. Answers in the Heart: Daily Meditations
for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction. Haze
Zoldbrod, Aline. SexSmart: How Your Childhood Shaped Your Sexual
Life and What to Do About It. Originally 1998, now iUniverse,
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Copyright © Aline Zoldbrod 2010