Tips from Boston Sex Therapist Dr. Aline Zoldbrod
There are 10 basic signs that can help you understand what a healthy sex life is, and if you have one. From what you think about yourself to how you react to a slow stretch, this list will outline the basic requirements of a healthy sex life.
“Good sex is all about finding your perfect recipe,” says Dr. Zoldbrod.
The internet provides quick, inexpensive access to a variety of pornography. Online pornography is becoming more and more frequently named in divorce cases. Is it really that harmful to an otherwise healthy relationship?
Dr. Zoldbrod weighs in on the subject, “One problem with pornography is that it tends to mislead men with false portrayals of women’s sexuality.”
Featuring prominent professionals with excellent advice, this list contains 12 excellent ways to enrich your sex life for you and your partner. How many resolutions will you commit to and carry on throughout the year?
“The number one key to greater pleasure is knowing what turns you on,” says Dr. Zoldbrod. Resolution #1: Vow to focus on what you like in bed.
The cultural stigma of discussing the sex lives of the elderly tends to create an “ick” reaction. However times have changed, more and more elderly are engaging in satisfying sexual interactions.
As Dr. Zoldbrod writes, “That doesn’t exactly fit the popular images of “over the hill” women as sexually uninterested and uninteresting.”
A growing population of people identify as being asexual. Do they need help, or is it a valid sexual orientation like being gay or straight? There are experts on both sides of the question.
“Becoming a sexual human being is a long and subtle process and many things must go right in one’s family of origin for the child to connect sexuality and love,” says Aline Zoldbrod.
Without touch, we would cease to exist. A child is amazingly intuitive about the message behind the touch. A loving kiss, unwanted tickling, or an insincere hug can be the moments of contact a child experiences that can shape behavior and expectations for their adult life.
“But many otherwise caring, concerned families just don’t use touch to express love enough.” Writes Dr. Zoldbrod. “After a year of weekly touching and talking exercises, the woman finally began to feel pleasure in being touched.”
The tendency to sweep problems such as a difference in sexual desire under the rug often leads to resentment and hurt. Now is the time to have an honest discussion.
“Sometimes discussing incorporating masturbation into your intimate, partnered sex life can be the trick to feeling friendly and like you’re on the same page again.” Says Dr. Zoldbrod “...I’m not talking about when you masturbate solo to porn. I’m talking about a loving scenario...that is a compromise between no sex whatsoever and an angry mercy-sex scenario.”
Remember when you first dated? The amazing intimacy? You can have that again, now is the time. The typical life events during your 30’s and 40’s that were important then, have now been addressed. Real intimacy is possible again.
“You can learn to overcome sexual inhibitions. You finally have the space in your life to tackle this. You can consciously decide to learn to enjoy sex.” Writes Dr. Zoldbrod
While it is possible there may be a biological reason for a woman being disinterested in sex, there is a large group of women who sabotage their own sex lives.
“Why is communicating your true sexual likes and dislikes important for women?” Asks Dr. Zoldbrod. “Gather your courage and find the words. Talk, women!”
Boston Sex Therapist Dr. Zoldbrod answered questions during a one hour live chat. You may find your question answered in the transcript.
“...unfortunately, this is not that uncommon either. Here’s what I want you to do. Practice touching her...” Answers Dr. Zoldbrod
A model of fourteen milestones in sexual development developed by Boston Sex Therapist Dr. Zoldbrod is useful to clients in explaining how certain non-sexual, negative family experiences are related to sexual feelings.
“...many kinds of families inflict ‘sexual trauma’ in a more diffuse way, affecting the platform upon which the child’s healthy sexuality needs to be built.” Says Dr. Zoldbrod
The complete article for professionals written by Boston Sex Therapist Dr. Zoldbrod can be read here, as it was originally published in Contemporary Sexuality American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists...