Couple and Marital Therapy with Dr. Zoldbrod
Are you fighting all the time? Do you feel distant? Have you lost the loving feeling you used to have?
Do you feel alone and betrayed by your partner? Do you feel rejected or unappreciated?
Has your partner been unfaithful? Are constant fights over the kids, money, or home/work balance making life unbearable?
It’s not easy living with another person to begin with. When you feel emotionally dependent on them and you feel hurt, rejected, frustrated or betrayed, it can be almost unbearable. Sometimes these fights are actually fights about the subject matter at hand. Other times, they are actually about frustrated longings for attachment. I always go looking for the root issues.
It’s really important that a couples therapist be very active. There is no reason to pay money to see a therapist who just lets you argue in the office, without shining some light on what’s underneath the angry and hurt feelings. I’m a very active couples therapist, and I use my training to help you get to your deepest feelings and come to an understanding of each other’s needs to be attached.
When it comes to dealing with affairs, I have decades of experience healing the betrayal. I still get Christmas cards from one couple I helped 12 years ago. It gives me tremendous pleasure to see the yearly photo. There they are, happy and together, with their now-grown kids. People have all kinds of reasons for having an affair— and there is no way any couples therapist could guarantee that you’ll come out of the affair intact. But I have a great record of keeping couples together. One quality I have that is necessary to work with affairs is a lot of tolerance for strong feelings, weeping, and hate. What you need as the client is a lot of dedication to therapy. The couple I’m talking about came to see me several times a week for the better part of the year before the wife was able to get over her hurt.
I’m a frank person, and there have been times when I have seen couples who are fighting where it’s obvious to me that the wheels have come off. There is a basic tragic flaw in the relationship. It’s brutal, maybe, but I do give my opinion. I don’t string people along. I also get cards of appreciation from some people who I have encouraged to give up on an untenable marriage.
So if you come to see me for couples or marriage therapy, rest assured that I’ve got the training and the personality to help you make progress to get where you want to go. I have seen a lot of unbelievably angry couples come together again. Unless it’s completely fruitless, of course. I’ll give it all I have, but I’ll never let you waste time chasing the impossible dream.
Here is some background on my training:
I began my couples therapy training in 1993 with a half-year intensive training program at the Kantor Family Institute in Cambridge. Through the years, I have continued studying couples and marital therapy, taking workshops with Neal Jacobson Ph.D., David Scharsch, Ph.D., Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., among others teachers. I began an interest in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) with a whole day workshop with Sue Johnson in 2006, and continued on with studies in EFT, completing her externships in 2011-2012.
I am frequently quoted in the media and on the web about couples’ issues, including citations in:
- Chicago Tribune
- Bridal guide
- ABC news
- Boston Globe
- Boston Globe Magazine
- Women’s Health Today
- Men’s Health
- LA Times
- New York Times
- LadiesHomeJournal.com, and