From the Bedroom into the Medition Room: What Sex Therapists Want Mediators to Know. Dr. Aline Zoldbrod to keynote the Massachusetts Council on Family Mediation’s 16th Annual Family Mediation Institute.

disengaged couple

For some couples who plan to divorce, the genesis of much of the fighting, hurt, and alienation that threatens the dissolution of their marriage is sexual.

“Sex is not on her radar at all.”

“He just never wanted to have sex, and it has destroyed my self esteem.”

“She just could not respond to affectionate touch, and after a while, I just could not stand it.”

“He just got more and more into porn. He lied about it. He was never interested in me sexually any more.”

On December 8, 2017, I’ll be talking to mediators about which of these couples might be helped by a referral for sex therapy, before they consider divorce.

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A Sexpert's Advice - Four Tips (as featured in the 2007 parenting issue of The Boston Globe Magazine)

Originally published by The Boston Globe Magazine in 2007, Text by Carey Goldberg - Click here for original article


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"Look," Lexington sex therapist Aline Zoldbrod will tell a couple. "Angry women aren't horny." Or: "No tired woman in an established relationship with kids is going to pick sex over sleep." Blunt, she is. She is also concerned – about the rise of "sexless marriages" and the many mothers who confess to her that since having a baby they have felt dead below the waist.

Read more: A Sexpert's Advice - Four Tips

Sex Night for Parents with Small Kids it Can Be Done

Originally found on

OK, folks; it's winter, cold and dark. No one has any money, and none of us knows for sure when things will get better. We need a picker-upper that will raise spirits without depleting our dwindling bank accounts. For a lucky group of people who are parents, that might be sex together, IF ONLY there were some way to get away from the kids.

Here is a solution to this problem. It's an exercise taken from my book SexTalk (p.96, Zoldbrod and Dockett, 2002). Trust me, if you previously liked sex, this strategy works.

Read more: Sex Night for Parents with Small Kids it Can Be Done

Women: Too Much "Mercy Sex" Will Ruin Your Sexual Relationship

I notice over and over again how other experts and researchers are encouraging women to  "just do it" when it comes to sex and addressing  desire discrepancies between partners.  Now, I believe some mercy sex, and some quickies, are just fine.  But I have to warn you not to go with their simplistic advice. 

Read: Original YourTango article published in June of 2015.

You might need to learn or to relearn how to like sex, because you have to know what your recipe is -- and you have to insist on getting good parts of it met, to have good sex. (You can use my Body Map exercise to figure out what you like.)

Read more: Women: Too Much "Mercy Sex" Will Ruin Your Sexual Relationship

The Ongoing Quest for Sexual Pleasure for Women

Having reliable orgasms is a worthy goal for women. Sex can still be wonderful even without orgasms, but why not push to get more pleasure? Don't just opt out and have a steady diet of "mercy sex."

There is a new vibrator in town. This one might or might not do the trick for you, but keep experimenting. It keeps you young!

Click here to read about this amazing new vibrator developed by two women: an MIT Mechanical Engineering grad and a clinical psychologist!


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Dr. Z.'s Books

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Meet Dr. Z - Boston Sex Therapist

about dr zoldbrod

Dr. Aline Zoldbrod is a licensed psychologist, seasoned sex therapist, teacher and trainer in sexuality, and author of multiple books on sexuality.

Practicing sex therapy in the Boston, MA area, Dr. Z is thoughtful and creative in her approach to help her clients gain confidence and overcome issues.

Dr. Z is a repeat author, including the award-winning book Sex Smart. Dr. Z has been featured or quoted in the Chicago Tribune, New York Times,, Los Angeles Times,, Boston Globe, Ladies Home, and in many other publications.